Words to drink by.

This is the winner of our Dry (wit) T-Shirt Contest — it's a limited-edition, so what the heck are you waiting for, Christmas?

It fits bar flies to a tee.

Our outstanding unisex short-sleeve Uppityshirts are 100% cotton, Made-in-the-USA excellence that flatters imbibers of every description. To see what (adult) size is right for you, click here.

Price: $25